Shake Shack Picnic at Curtis Park and Pregnancy Talk
How are we all doing… I know… I know… SAME. OVER it. I am not going to even mention IT. We all know what IT is…. The most precious days and weeks of my last pregnancy have been shrouded in fear, hidden away in my house in quarantine, hiding from a virus called COVID-19. There I said it. I said it for reference. For history. For memories. We have all made amazing and wonderful memories with our families during this time of isolation and “social distancing.” I have always felt close with my girls and that we have spent a lot of quality time together before this happened, as I am blessed to be able to stay home with them. Some days of course get taken for granted, but for the most part, I feel like I am really soaking them up when I have them all to myself. These girls are so lucky to have each other. They have played, and played, and played some more. Like an EARLY summer! The Barbie pool has been filled for the season, the trolls have been out in the back yard in the bird bath, the storm drains, and their play cars…. Shopkins Ville Shopping Centers have taken over the back patio….another blessing I am so thankful for- outdoor patio and garden space for us to breathe….I was always appreciative of that in the past, but with Corona virus, you count your blessings often.
Another big blessing has been husband being home with us. Husband works many hours and in many different directions so this has been such a treat to have him all to ourselves! REALLY. Sure, sure, we have had some pretty gnarly fights, just one today in fact, over giving the girls donuts in the car rather than waiting, but we pull through them a lot quicker and bounce back better. Like an INTENSE couples therapy, DAILY. Haha. We have been doing a lot more niceties for one another, bringing one tea or a drink and drawing them a bath. Speaking of baths. I was NEVER big into baths, but since this pregnancy, and our new home with a huge tub, I have been taking full advantage of soaking. I see many are using quarantine time to self care and soak too. Husband home has been wonderful. I am very thankful for him and all he does to provide for us and make us happy. He has been such a team player during this time- waking up, making us breakfast and starting my coffee most mornings, and helping with the schooling.
Both girls have transitioned to schooling online, but our district has not made it rigorous or strenuous in any way which we both appreciate and see the value in. Now is NOT the time for hours upon hours of work, administered by stressed parents who may be worried and concerned about broader economic and social issues because of the pandemic. I know we we were nearly to the end of the school year and most would say PRESS ON, keep the load, give them all the work same as before, but I would argue against that. The kids, as well as ourselves ar enot in any mental state to comprehend what exactly is happening in our daily lives and world around us to compartmentalize and focus on scholastic studies the way we did say pre-COVID, like early March. That’s just the reality of it folks. So if you insist on four to seven hours a day of work, I am here to tell you the quality and attention and RETENTION of this work right now is probably for nothing. Our children are aware. They understand things are not the same. They worry just as much as us but it manifests in other ways. I saw the writing on the wall this past Saturday. It was the FIRST time during this entire time of quarantine where the girls were just at each others’ necks off and on, more frequently and often. poking at each other. My eldest came to me and begged every fifteen minutes to call a school friend so she could show her around our house and just see her. She missed her peer group. She missed her friends. It FINALLY bubbled out and over the to and came to the surface. I am not a hyper social person. Perhpas I was once at a time, but you will not find me making phone calls, let alone arranging ZOOM birthday parties or happy hours. Not sorry. BUT, as a mother, of children who have been robbed of social interaction and play, and of so many things, I may have to get on the app, click on a link, or phone a friend in on behalf of their well being. So husband argued with me about, and he’s totally right, Sigh…
So that was a very long winded tangent that I want to wrap up before I get too worked up over.
These photos were of a family picnic we took last week to Curtis Park. I know Shake Shack has been in the news lately about taking or not taking or deserving or not deserving federal funds to stay afloat, not sure, all I know is this mama had a hankering for their burger and crinkle fries and a shake. We used their app, and used social distancing and had husband masked and gloved to pick up while we waited in the car. We drove a couple blocks away to one of our favorite parks to eat and just SPIN and jump and FEEL freedom. I want to do more of these outings. During the week we have been in a routine of studies and the girls get wrapped up in play all day after that. Going back to my earlier points about schooling, we have been administering schooling. Husband is all plugged in himself already so he works with the girls on the technical front, logs on for them, checks messages from teachers and does the Zoom stuff. We all eat breakfast together, wash up, then the girls and I congregate around the table and recite the Pledge of Allegiance, and they start with three new sight words a week each, spelling tests, writing, and workbooks with me….They take turns in the office and work on their school work throughout the week as needed and assigned. It has been a great balance and partnership between husband and I. I actually have enjoyed doing one on one schooling with the girls and like choosing and adding and filling in my own curriculum bits. I can see where they need work, what their strengths are, what they enjoy and what they get excited about or bored by…It has been something very good for me to taste and see to TEACH them in a more official capacity. We are their FIRST and PRIMARY teachers, the most important MENTOR and LEADER they will ever have int heir lives. What better time to start than in Kindergarten and First Grade?! We may even continue on in the summer with my methods and workbooks and lessons. We have also been reading a book about Pablo Picasso which the girls have enjoyed. Which make this art-loving Mama’s heart sing too….We never go past eleven am, and its plenty. For them. For us. For anyone. Two to three hours of lesson and then JUST LET THE KIDS BE KIDS.
On nice days, we have been LIVING on our back patio. I sip my coffee and listen to them play. I listen to the birds, the buzzing of lawn mowers. I have had some downer days and been depressed and let COVID get the best of me at times. I had to attend my 20 week sonogram- the BIG ONE- where you find out the gender alone. At the time I didn’t think it bothered me, until AFTER. I played over what happened and how and I was mad. I was mad and bitter and angry and frustrated and worried. The appointment was just…I don’t know…OFF. The sono tech did all the readings while discussing her personal life and failed relationship, which seemed to take forever, my back was cramping up towards the end and she kept pressing too hard on the babies towards the end. She just went on and on…and I really had wanted to know more about the babies size, measurements etc. Not sure if it is our insurance guidelines or what, but I was not allowed to photograph or video anything in there, so I couldn’t capture any of it for husband. Then I got emotional in the gender reveal and took it poorly. I was shocked and surprised by the news, disappointed even. I cried. And I was alone. And she made dumb jokes. THEN, she hands me a hands free phone and leaves the room. The doctor was on the other end and basically asked, “So do you have any questions?” It was horrific. I don’t know if I had questions, I was disoriented. Confused. A doctor, on the PHONE. A doctor can’t even come in the room, with mask and gloves and be six feet away to look me in the eyes and communicate with her patient? I felt like a prisoner. I felt diseased even though I am perfectly healthy. I felt LESS THAN. It felt horrible and awful and unnatural. I am not buying the whole, well we all need to take precautions B>S>, I am so tired of Polly Anna-ing the hell out of this “pandemic.”
Of course we have been following ALlllllll the rules and guidelines and orders. how can you NOT?! There is nowhere to go, no place to be. I love it when you tell people you’re true thoughts and feelings and fears about what IS REALLY GOING ON and they get defensive and throw out how serious THEY are taking it and have been strict, etc. WE HAVE NOT SEEN OUR OWN FAMILIES, not a friend, not a neighbor, not even a doctor apparently… We do our weekly grocery errands and wearing the RECOMMENDED masks and gloves and take the precautions seriously. We wipe down, we wash up. The girls only leave the house to the park, and that has been maybe three times. So please, do not insinuate that because I am LEARY of the real intentions of what is happening, you can rest assured we are being clean and safe and IN SOLITUDE. I am not alone. ANYWAY… my last pregnancy has been shadowed by a COVID Cloud. Some of you may be saying boo- hoo…. people are falling ill, people are dying. Possibly. Maybe. But I am admiting how I have been selfish and gave myself pity in MY WAY over this. For some its how they missed an important event- oh I don’t know, THEIR WEDDINGS! Some have given birth wearing a face mask and some have had to do it alone without a partner int he room. Some have missed their SENIOR GRADUATIONS! Vacations have been cancelled, so may events missed. BUSINESSES LOST FOREVER, like my beloved Market downtown on Larimer Square which had been in business since 1983…. LIVELIHOODS and ENTREPRENEURS are at a LOSS! Personally, we have lost two incomes from my husband’s part time or seasonal positions. So yes, a little frivolous of me to complain about being a prisoner in my own home during the best trimester of my last pregnancy, but you know what, I’m mad about it! This is a blog, an opinion-based writing, a journal if you will, and I am peeved! But what are you gonna do?
We are HEALTHY here, so far as we know. We are HAPPY more often than not, and we have everything we need. I have FAITH, and GOD and salvation on my side, and I am HUMBLE. We will get through this. This is a historic time and event, it needed a lengthy post. To end, I am thankful for the front line workers. The ones STILL working for us, the grocery store employees, stockers, truck drivers, postal employees, delivery men and women, food service providers, health care workers. YES. YES. YES. We solute you, we thank you, we do NOT take you for granted and we thank you when we catch you or come in your radius. We know any one of us could fall ill with this hidden virus and do not take that lightly. We pray. We pray hard. We pray harder. We are loyal to one leader, a HEAVENLY FATHER, who has ALL control over this and so much more.
So for now, this was pregnancy at twenty-three weeks, with my family, enjoying fresh air before rain came. The silliness, the happiness these girls show NO MATTER WHAT, that’s what wakes me up in the morning and pulled me through some very MOPEY days, and also some close friends and a husband who loves us so much. Here’s hoping things ease up before I give birth later this summer….
As my Great Aunt used to say, “Take it as it comes…” and a great one, “There’s nothin’ new under the sun…” We can do this. Let’s do this….
…Glo
Wearing: I am wearing a vintage maxi dress I found at a local shop on South Broadway called Sewn, before the shut down….Target flatform sandals from last year, fedora from a Davis hat shop in Delta, Colorado. The girls are both wearing rompers from One Day Parade.
